No Place Like Home

I have a wonderful family to see. Two lovely dogs to play with. A bunch of incredible friends all over the country who can't wait to see me (right????). But I don't feel like I'm really going "home".

When people ask me "Where's home?", I never know what to tell them (such a TCK response). 


I've lived in Colorado for several years of my life and that's where my family is, but I haven't actually resided there since I was 18. And my parents have moved several times since I've moved out so I don't really have a "place" I can call my own (not that my parents don't provide for me, they SO do...you understand right?). And as for Florida, I lived there for a few years right before I moved here, my church is there, many of my friends are there, but it's been two years. Can I still claim it? I mean, I don't really call myself a Floridian...

I've always been a little nomadic. As I was growing up, my family moved a lot, living in several different parts of the country and even more houses. And as an adult, I've moved quite a few times too- countries, states, and houses. I honestly can't imagine what it would be like to stay in one place for a long time.

I suppose because my job is here, my house is here, my ministry is here...my home is China. That feels a little strange as it comes out of my mouth but at the same time, fills me with happiness. China is home. I'm glad that I can live in this semi-uncomfortable place, with it's strange language and sometimes stranger culture, a place where I most definitely DO NOT fit in, and am able to call it home. 


I hope this means that no matter where I live, whether it's in a great big city or the country-side, an apartment or a dorm room, America or Zimbabwe, that I'll always be able to call it "home". Because it's not really about a location is it? It's about tying yourself to where ever God had placed you. Taking ownership of the job, house, relationships He's put in your life. Finding contentment regardless of situation or circumstance. Digging in and taking root.


So, as I travel through the country I was born and raised in, I'm praying that it will feel like home again for two months. That I will feel tied to that land and those people. That I will  be able to feel comfortable and well rested regardless of the bed or the house or the city that I'm in.


That at the end of a lovely summer, I will be able to return to China, and it will still feel like home. 

Grow Up Grown Up!

I hate being an adult sometimes. 

I don't want to do work, I want to play. I don't want to pay bills, I want to buy lots of awesome stuff. I don't want to go to bed on time, I want to stay up all hours blogging and skyping. I don't want to go to work everyday, I want to sleep in and read books and watch movies. I don't want to grade papers, I want to go to movies and hang out with friends. I don't want to be a good communicator, I want to live an unconfrontational life. I don't want to keep my house clean, I want to throw clothes all over because I can. I don't want to apologize for saying something I shouldn't have, I want to say whatever I want regardless of consequences.

I don't want to do right, speak wisely, love fully, stay motivated, finish well, encourage others, humble myself, apologize often, control emotions, ask forgiveness, feel empathy, work hard, be consistent. 

I want to stomp my feet, wave my fists and yell, "NO! It's too hard."

That's where I'm at today. Wanting to throw a hissy-fit but trying to remember something about loving Jesus and letting Him shine through me so I can love others.

Because really, how scary would it be to see me flailing about the floor in a full-on grown person temper tantrum? Funny, maybe, but really frightening.  


Help me Jesus!

**Update: The hissy-fitishness has subsided and the "old self" has been sufficiently beaten down again.  For at least the next 15 minutes. Ready for the next round due any minute now...

Hong Kong Trip

During the 4th quarter of every school year, the entire middle school/high school goes on a week long trip to somewhere in China. Each grade goes to a different place so that by the time our students graduate, they've been all over the country. The coveted trip for many of the teachers is the senior trip to Hong Kong. Guess who got to go? That's right baby, partay in HK for a week.


After 13 hours of travel including buses, trains, subways, planes and a lot of walking, we arrive in Hong Kong last Sunday night. The kids (and some of the adults) were real troopers.


Monday included Ocean Park (think Disney meets zoo) in the rain, a cancelled group dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and shopping at the Ladies' Market. And a lot of walking. This sounds bad but the rain allowed for me to read and rest, the cancelled dinner worked out that it was just the adults and no waiting to seat a group of 27 and the shopping well, it was quick and painless.


Tuesday and Wednesday we worked at a place called Crossroads. It's a non-profit organization that basically meets people-in-need needs. They collect food, clothing, computers, furniture, etc and take it to people in places like Haiti and Ghana and China. They also host simulations for people to better understand what it's like to be a refugee or blind or impoverished. Super impactful. Super cool.


Thursday we went to Lantau Island by ferry, saw the largest sitting Buddha, shopped, played games, and then took the cable car back to the main island. We also went to Pirates of the Caribbean and had Outback (wahoooo!!!!) for dinner. I love steak.


Friday, it was beach in the morning and then 12 hours of travel back to Qingdao.


It was an exhaustingly fabulous week. The kids were great, full of jokes and a few pranks. The other teachers were willing to do whatever needed to be done. I got to play "Clue", watch a 3D movie, travel in all types of mass transit, each delicious food, sweat my brains out, make breakfast for my girls, pretend like I was blind and poor, go to bed late, get up early, get a sunburn, make new friends, take cold showers, live without internet, walk a lot, spend lots of money, and have an all around great time.


See pics below...

While I was gone, my friends back at home got a little ridiculous and awesome. They created this video for me. You MUST watch it.

 

Practically Famous

I know I've discussed how sometimes I am my own tourist attraction here in China. Being stared at, followed, "Hello"ed at, secretly photoed (not so secretly) is a common occurrence. It's just a part of my life here.

Now when a group of us hang out, it's like a hay-day for the Chinese. Jack pot! We become our own little zoo of foreigners. And doesn't it make sense that people would want to take pictures with the animals?

Today in the park...well, I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

We think they wanted us in the background.

I happened to make eye contact with the guy in the white shirt and he assumed it meant, "Hey, come on over and take a million pictures OF us...and then a whole bunch more WITH us."

This is like picture #8 with the wedding photographer.

He wanted me to take a picture of him taking our picture.

And now in some crazy reality, we're friends.

We're a little concerned that our faces may end up on some billboard or wedding advertisement. That's actually happened to a few of our friends in another city. Oh, the mortification!

Tha Gang (Our OWN picture)

Worth a thousand words...

Conversations With Friends

Today has been a lovely, crazy day. It started with breakfast with friends and ended with coffee and friends. In between, a picnic in the park and some life changing conversations.

I've been feeling really convicted about forgiving others. On the whole, I'm not a bitter person. I don't hold grudges (at least not for long) and I'm not vindictive (at least not in an outward way). I was talking with my breakfast friends about how it's so much easier to forgive than it is to forget. And I do believe forgetting is a part of forgiving. Forgive? Sure. Forget? Um, no, not really. To live like it never happened, living in a fully restored relationship...I can't even imagine what the Christian life would look like if we forgave and lived in completely restored relationships. Well, actually, I do know what it would look like. It would look like Christ. I want that. I want to restore my relationships totally and completely. I have some work to do though. Really hard work. And that takes a lot of effort and a lot of being intentional. Barf.

I ended the day discussing theology with my coffee shop friends. I've been reminded how important it is to know what you know and why you know it. To search it out, hash it out, work it out, live it out. I'm not a huge fan of discussing theology. I think it's easy to waste a lot of time talking about peripheral things. I mean, it mostly boils down to, Love God, Love people. But, I think discussions like today can be really stretching. And fun. I really enjoy hearing other perspectives and opinions, even if I totally disagree with them. Provers 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Today was full of that sharpening or at least the beginning of it. I like it. 

I have some thinking to do. And a lot of reading. And probably some more discussing. And then some action to take.

Bullet Points #3

• I had a weird dream last night that's made me feel funny all day. Something I just can't shake. Hopefully a good night's sleep will help.
• We have 18 days of school left but only 7 days of real classes. The rest are trip and exam days.
• I leave for Hong Kong on Sunday for a school trip. I'm chaperoning the senior class. Should be...exhausting.
• I'll be in Colorado in 3.5 weeks.
• My World History students are doing a Genghis Khan (my obsession) trial tomorrow. Should be interesting. 
• It's been rather rainy the last few days. Good because we need the rain but really inconvenient when you walk so much.
• I'm in love with dried kiwi. 
• We are celebrating Cinco de Mayo tomorrow. Because that's how we roll.
• I'm reading A Wrinkle In Time. For the second time. But it must've not really made an impression on me because it took me halfway through the book before I remembered that I'd read it.
• I'm still praying about a car for the summer. I'd like to drive all over the country so I can have the freedom to come and go as I please but I don't own a vehicle. I'm praying that God'll provide something cheap and reliable. 
• I bought 17 movies today for about $3.50. People are moving away and selling all their stuff. Yay for the stuff-selling. Boo on the leaving.
• The teachers are in charge of assembly tomorrow. I'm leading the singing. I love leading teens in worship.

That is all.

Dear Mom, (Part 3)

These are some things that I like...

We have the same laugh, even after all these years.

All my friends want to meet you because of how much I talk about you.

It's easy to see how much you love dad and brother.

I have your sense of humor.

You are so patient and thoughtful. 

The way you love God and honor Him with your life makes me want to love Him more.

I would be lucky to turn out like you.

I love you, Mom. I like you too. I miss you. I can't wait to see you. 

Your Thankful-to-Have-You-as-a-Mother-daughter,

Jen