Life Update

I refuse to even acknowledge how long it's been since I've written last. Time runs away from me like its pants are on fire. And don't even get me started on where I should go to scrape up enough energy to write. Sigh. I'm a blogging failure. 

I like that I totally disregarded my first sentence. 

I'm am lying on the guest bed at my friend's house right now. She banged her head in the wee hours of the morning (a couple of days ago) and has an awesome purple-y black eye and a concussion to go along with it. After several days of serious pain, she decided it was time to have it looked at. So, I spent most of the day at a Chinese hospital, where a truly gracious nurse whisked us in and out of several different dilapidated testing rooms to eventually be sent home with a promise of results of the CT scan tomorrow. It was quite the experience. I actually got to go into the CT room and stand with my friend to comfort her while they did the scan. She asked me to talk to her while they were doing it. Well, who can just start talking about something on command? So, I decided to sing "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" instead. It was one of those only-in-China moments. Standing in a semi-scary hospital room, wearing my special x-ray shirt, singing a hymn while a friend got her brain examined. 

It's been really nice to take care of someone today. I love to take care of people, to help, to fix, to solve. However, because this community is so chocked full of people who feel the same way, I tend to step aside and allow others to do it...'too many cooks in the kitchen' sort of thing. It was nice to be needed today. The last few weeks have been so focused on my job...I'm just tired of it. It was lovely to have to focus on someone else, to be able to serve. I was just praying/thinking this week that I needed an opportunity to get outside of my own little world to help someone...

What have I been doing that's been so all-consuming, you ask? Sigh. From May to February every year, I work on putting together a conference for my job. I've explained it all to you before, right here.  This year  (March 1-3) was the biggest conference we've hosted thus far. We had 25 schools (about 380 students and teachers) from all over Asia in attendance. I wear many hats during the planning period and the actual conference- organizer, director, teacher, task delegator, budget manager, bus and hotel planner, leadership team over-seer, crises manager, hostess, and head of PR. It is an overwhelming job. But this year was really fulfilling. My student leaders and admin staff (go-fers) took ownership of the conference and did an outstanding job. They were committed and respectful and knowledgeable and hard-working. They were everything a teacher would want them to be. I really couldn't have been prouder. It was one of those years-of-hard-work-with-these-kids-and-it's-finally-coming-to-fruition moments.

Let's see...besides the conference and the concussed friend, I have a few other things to tell you.

• I've decided to stay with my job for one more year. I'm still praying about where God wants me next. 
• Practice for the big community play is underway. You all in America should feel sorry that you'll be missing my stellar dance moves for this play. Stellar.
• I am staying in Qingdao for Spring Break. I'm hoping to do some community work or something. I just want to be productive and helpful.
• I have no idea what I'm doing during my three weeks off this summer. I thought I had a plan but now no longer do. Praying for clarity.
• I should SO have more to tell you than this. I mean, it's been two months! 
• Hm...
• I think I'm teaching a different class next year. With all my traveling and conference stuff, it makes it difficult to teach other subjects. I'm looking forward to a little change.
• I have completely given up guitar and Chinese for now. Hopefully, both will be picked back up soon now that my life is calmer.
• I've been reading a book about poverty. Probably going to be making some changes. I'm just not sure what yet. Oh and I've been watching "The Elephant Room". Interesting. Irritating. Thought provoking.
•  I am participating in March Maddness. No, I know nothing about college basketball. It's just fun to play with the guys I work with.
• I'm going to have to do another post focusing on what God's doing in my life, what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about. I'm too tired to do it now.

Okay, I feel like the list is sufficiently long, even if it is insufficiently 'deep'. And I must get off of here. I have a long night ahead of me, filled with wake-up calls every two hours to check on the concussed friend. Yay. 

Consistency is Key...

I teach World History to a class of twenty-three 9th graders. We are about a week into our World Religions Unit where we cover the five major world religions: Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity and Judaism. I'm hoping to briefly touch on Mormonism and Shintoism but will spend most of our time focused on the big 5. As an assessment at the end of the unit, I split the class into groups and they have to create a skit where all the leaders of those religions come together to have a dinner and discussion. It's really fun to watch and students enjoy doing it. 

Anyway, last week I was teaching about Hinduism and the effect it's had on the social class structure in India. We've already learned-ish the names of the caste system and how each level affects society but I was trying to teach them another word for the lowest class- the untouchables.

And let me just preface this by saying we were in the middle of really good classroom discussion. I was feeling all teachery and a little rock starish because they were laughing in all the right places and asking questions outside of the info I was telling them.We were in tune. I was well on my way to a "teacher of the year award" with this lesson.

Me: Let's review. What was the name for the lowest social class in India way back when?

The entire class: Untouchables!!!

Me: You're geniuses! Can anybody tell me another word that's used in place of 'untouchables'?

Total silence....

Me: I'll give you a hint. It's also a name for a type of fish. A very deadly fish.

Student 1: A perch!

Me: (raised eyebrow) No.

Student 2: A shark!

Me: Nope

Student 3: A piranha!

Me: Oh...ha. Yes, a piranha is definitely what I was thinking of...but not the right word. But it's close...(trying to hide my utter embarrassment and feeling the "teacher of the year award" slipping through my fingers)

Student 4: Pariah!

Me: Yes! Pariah! That's it. Not piranha. Please, oh please, do not write piranha on your test. I will be humiliated as a teacher. 

They laughed but I was so serious.

Sigh. Sometimes my brain just doesn't work. And I don't even notice that it's not working until I'm deep in the middle of a discussion. 

The following is a story that I blogged about in 2008. It still makes me blush when I think about it...

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So, I was at church tonight, getting ready to sing on the worship team. We, as in several pastors, the other singers and the band, were all gathered in the green room getting ready to pray and the men were going over the run-down of the service. We're all standing in a circle, I'm the only girl, surrounded by the head pastor, the worship pastor, and all the other guys. This is what happens:

Head Pastor: "The message today is about Noah. Okay, so-and-so Pastor, you'll be doing the welcome but you won't need to introduce the sermon. We're going to go straight into it."

So-and-so Pastor: "Oh, okay. I thought I was going to be introducing it so I was looking up information about Noah. I came across a book by Maxwell discussing his (Noah's) leadership abilities."

Head Pastor: "Well, that's interesting. He really didn't have any. He wasn't a good leader. He couldn't get anyone to follow him."

Peanut Gallery: "He did get his family to follow him onto the boat."

Me: "Yah, and he got the Israelites to follow him out of Egypt."

*Chirp* *Chirp* *Blink* *Blink*

Head Pastor: "Noah?"

Me: "Yah, they followed him out of Egypt. Like 2 million pe...oh, I'm an idiot."

Nothin' like making a fool of yourself in front of a group of pastors. 'Lead Pastor' did go on to question if I taught my students Bible. Which I denied. I'm pretty sure I became neon pink and tried to laugh it off. It's all a blur now.

Oh, if I only had a brain!

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I'm nothing if I'm not consistent.

The Vacation Thus Far...

Coffee

Sleep

New friends

Old friends

Family

Celebrations

Alone time

Quiet

Rest

Work

Play

Shopping

Sight-seeing

Adventures

Movies

Books

Conversation

Food

Happiness

Sadness

Missing-ness

Peace

Reflection

Boredom

Home

Children

Conversation

Excitement

Laughter

Tears

I just finished pushing myself, maybe I was more drawn than pushed, to finish a particular book. I was half-way through before I realized the treasure for what it was. Reconciliation, yearning, the old self at war with the new. It was beautiful and heart-breaking and stirring. It has made me feel contemplative, which in my opinion, is the best sort of book. It pierced me just a little. It was recommended by a friend, one who's opinion on such things I greatly value but hardly ever agree with. Also something I enjoy, finding common ground.

I know that the above paragraph has nothing to do with this post. But I needed to write it for myself. Sort of as a reflection to look back on. 

It has been a good week. Just enough to do but not too much. A perfect blend of people and quiet. 

Ti-i-i-ime I-is On My Side

I have 5 weeks of plan-less vacation staring me in the face. So much time, so little to do. After such a busy semester and more recently a busy Christmas weekend, I'm finding it hard to slow down and rest. I'm already finding myself bored. 

In an effort to have things to do, I've started creating lists. A list of movies I want to watch (I have at least 25 already), a list of places I want to sight-see in my city, a list of school work that must get done. It's all adding up to a lot of alone time. Something I don't mind but also find a little sad. I mean, I like being alone. It gives me time to think. And I'll get a chance to really practice my Chinese while out on my excursions. But 5 weeks is a long time. 

I do have a few friends in town. Many, MANY people went to their home countries for the holiday break as this is the longest mid-school break we've ever had. In my attempt at saving money for traveling this summer, I decided to stay here. I look forward to spending time with the 8-10 people that will be here off and on during the break but we can't all spend our every waking moments together. That would be exhausting.

So, I'll pepper my quiet time with a few friends- game nights, movies, dinners. I'll spend the a huge lot of my time letting my brain think and reflect and mull over the last 2.5 years. I've been so busy, even on breaks and holidays, that I haven't had time to do much of that. And I excel in the art of finding things to fill my time when I do have a break- internet, movies, books, friends. 

This (almost forced) reflection time, it makes me nervous. I fear that my time, the way that I've spent the last two years, will be "weighed in the balances and found wanting." I could've done more, said more, grown more, loved more, lived more. 

And yet, I have to remind myself that some of largest growth comes from the act of reflection. What can be done differently? What must be changed? What was good? What was done poorly?

Sigh. What a sad little post after being absent for so long. I'm at this point where I have so much I could be writing about that I have to start out really small and work my way out of my thoughts. It's like being covered in an avalanche and having to dig myself out, one handful of snow at a time. At least I don't have to drink my own pee to survive.

Yes, I really said that. Made myself laugh out loud.

I really am so thankful for this break. I feel like I've been in a race but not running against anyone in particular.  The whole I'm-getting-things-done-but-is-it-purposeful? thing. That's been echoing around my head for a couple of months. I want to be purposeful in my busy-ness. Not just being busy to be busy. What a waste that would be. It's nice to have time to breathe, to spend time in my house, to get to know my city again.

A few things to update you on...

• After living a year and a half in my house, I finally bought a t.v. Yay!
• I'm returning to my job for another year. Four years in the same place, it's a record.
• I auditioned and got a part in a big play here in my city. I'm the evil Stepmother. 
• Guitar learning is not going so well. Sigh. I wish I was a faster learner.
• I'm still pursuing my Chinese. I'm hoping to spend a lot of time out and about working on it this holiday. 

 That is all. For now.

The Dress

I went to the tailor on Wednesday. The dress was perfect. He made exactly what I wanted. Even the color. After "Zheige"ing (This-ing) and "Neige"ing (That-ing), I was sure I was going to end up with a fire-engine-red tube-top, with a drape attached to cover my knees. My fault, not his. My lack of language, not his lack of ability or comprehension.


So apparently I'm not able to make an appropriate face while taking a picture of the dress. But here it is.

Nothing super fancy but comfortable and exactly what I wanted. Yay!

The ball was fun-ish. It was a like a grown-up prom...which was a little strange. I go to teen-age dances several times a year but this was one of my first grown-up dances. What's interesting is that it's still the same, regardless of the age. Fancy dresses, strange dancing, loud music, lame games, an overarching them of awkwardness but adult-style.

But the food was delicious. And the high-light was getting all gussied up with my friends. It's the people that 'made' the night for me.

Living on the Edge: Getting Clothes Made in China

Next Saturday is a really fancy party here in Qingdao called "The Winter Ball". It's a formal affair, tuxes, prom dresses, the whole nine yards. They're calling the ball "Glamorous Hollywood of the 1930s".

I've been invited by my school to go and schmooze with other expats living here in the city. Not because I'm glamorous. It's because I have a big mouth and can make conversation with a doorknob.

I'm super excited, mostly because it's a free dinner and a chance to get all dolled up. The problem is, I had good intentions of buying a party dress this summer to bring back with me (because you KNOW the Chinese people don't make my size) but well, here I am a week prior to the ball and no dress. Where's Fairy God-mother when you need her? Not that I want to arrive at the shindig in an overgrown pumpkin but I sure could use some help with the outfit. And shoes. And hair. And makeup.

For the last few weeks I've been contemplating going to a tailor/seamstress to get a dress made. Between traveling to two different countries, planning special events at school, auditioning for a play and trying to keep up with normal life stuff, I just haven't had time to go. And let's be honest, getting myself measure by a 12 pound, 4 foot Chinese woman, surrounded by all her co-workers and their kids gawking at me like I'm the best thing they've seen since rice balls made their way to China, just isn't something I get excited about. And, of course all this would be happening while I'm bumbling with my Chinese, mostly saying phrase like, "I want" or "I don't want", "This. Not this" and pretending that I understand what she's saying, when in reality, I'm just grunting in all the right places.

For those reasons, I've never gone to the tailor. I always buy my stuff in America and have it shipped here. Not ideal but way better than the humiliation of being a freak show.

I decided to bite the bullet yesterday. On a friend's suggestion, I went to a new tailor. He's got a nice private little shop in another part of town than where we usually go. He's a little more expensive but from what I can tell, he's pretty good.

Here's the thing when dealing with Chinese in any thing that is in any way "western". It's like they lose their minds. The Chinese have good sense but when it comes to making something or doing something western, a lot of times, they just don't get it. It's almost like they're so scared of us that they do whatever they can, as quickly as they can, with as little trouble as they can, hoping (thinking) it'll work. No pizza sauce for the pizza, let's use ketchup. Making a t-shirt with English words on it? Who cares what it says or how it's spelled, just throw some letters together, it's basically the same thing. Now, this is a generalization that is not true of all Chinese. And in the future, the more "westerness" infiltrates the country, the less all of this will be true.

Anyway, back to my story. Knowing the above about getting "western" things in China has just reinforced my unwillingness to have something made. Making clothing that fits a western body is really difficult. My body specifically...well, almost impossible.

I decided  to go in completely prepared. I made diagrams, photos-shopped pictures, and had 2 differnt hands-on examples.  

Here's the original. I wore this to the Royal Wedding Party.

 

Here's the photo-shopped version. I wanted an A-line dress with a long-sleeve sweater.

This is the diagram that I took. Google Translate might've helped. The tailor laughed when I opened my computer in his shop.

He seemed to understand me. I hope I understood him. I didn't take material with me. I just kind of pointed at some colors and fabrics that he already had and said, "this, this, this". He acted like he knew what I was saying. It was a little bit of a circus, me touching every roll of fabric, him watching me, me coming back to the computer to point some more, him watching me, me showing him my examples again, him watching me...

I did have to give up on the sweater. It was just one step too far. For me and him.

So, I go in Wednesday to take a looky-lou. I have super low expectations. All, and I mean all, of my friends who've had clothing made here have either had to go in for sizing at least four times before it's even wearable or give up on it completely because it's just so "off".

I'll keep you posted. If it's a hit, I'll take pictures. If it's a miss, I'll take pictures. Either way, I'll share the experience with the four of you that still read this blog.

Regardless of the dress, I have other things to worry about. I have plans to try and curl my hair like Mae West (she defines 1930's glam) wear lots of costume jewelry and have at least one feather in my hair (maybe some netting and a little hat too).

Bullet Points # 732

My life is a whirlwind of activity these days and has been since the first day of school. I'm keeping up my regularly busy fall schedule. I spend most days and nights out and about doing awesomely cool stuff but it drains me of most of my socialness and therefore my blog is well, moved to the bottom of the list of the millions of things I have to/get to do. So, here goes my brain dump...

• My friends and I started a new English Corner here at my apartment complex. We have a new coffee shop so it was an easy way to make new Chinese friends in a convenient location. It's been really neat. 
• I just got back from Shenyang, China. I coached JV Boys Volleyball this year (4th year coaching, 1st year coaching boys). It was a blast! Such a great group of boys. We didn't do very well in placement at the tournament, but the guys did a phenomenal job with a lot of their skills. They were actually much better and further advanced than most of the other JV teams, they just weren't as consistent. But it was a really fun weekend with all 40 students that went. Our varsity boys took 1st and our varsity girls took 2nd. Yay!
• Speaking of fun this weekend, I spent about an hour in the airport last night playing Korean group games with my students (someday I'll do a blog about Korean games because they're fascinating). Both games we played had to do with rhythm, chanting, and a few other things I'm not very good at. Hence the massive bruise on my leg where I was slapping it over and over and over. I guess I was so caught up in the concentration of the game (i.e. trying to stay on beat) that I didn't realize how hard I was hitting myself. Oh man, those kids and their games. Good stuff.
•  I leave for Seoul, Korea on Wednesday. I'm (and 2 other chaperones) taking 18 students for our first MUN conference of the year. It should be fun. It's a chance to hang with the students, eat good American food ( can you say HOT Krispy Kreme?), and maybe see a few beautiful men near the American army base. Oh, and there's a great Mexican restaurant and a used book store. Yay!
• I just dyed my hair. As in while I was writing this blog. It's a really dark red. Like celebrating-autumn-with-my-head red. (Mom, it will only convince you further that I am in fact turning Asian.)
• I have done nothing to celebrate Fall (except enjoy some pumpkin muffins, SO delish!) (oh, and now my hair). It makes me sad. Fall is my favorite time of year. Partially because it includes my birthday but mostly because it's beautiful. The leaves change, the weather gets chilly, apple in all its forms (pie, crisp, cider, etc.) and chili and pumpkin and cranberries and turkey are expected to participate in most meals, there's trick-or-treating, and Thanksgiving and football games all bundled up in blankets and sweatshirts...sigh...I just LOVE Fall.Of course, here in China, Fall mostly means the smell of coal burning and the leaves turning from green to yellow to dead quickly. But, I'll take what I can get
• It's weird that I know nothing about what's happening in America with the whole "Occupy Wall Street"/ 99% stuff. I pride myself in keeping up with my home country but I just haven't stayed on top of things lately. It seems like it's a big deal but I can't really seem to find good solid answers. Everyone's SO polarized with their opinions that nothing is unbiased enough to read. Kind of frustrating. 
• I'm in a Fantasy Football league with some of my family members. They have a family cup and everything. I stink. I seriously don't think I could be doing any worse than I actually am. So much for impressing them with my mad FF skills. I'll have to find another way. Maybe March Madness. Didn't do so badly with that last year.
• I know I have 14 bazillion more things to tell you. I've been creating a running list for weeks now. But...I can't seem to remember any of it. I'll have to post another one of these really soon. 

Must go to bed. Me and my scarlet hair.