Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Extremely Extreme

I am told that I speak in hyperboles.

This was said to me yesterday after I made the comment "Her hair makes me want to throw up." We were watching a movie and I really hated the woman's wig. It reminded me of a red-haired horses tail. Gag.

I do speak in extremes. But sometimes I just NEED to. It's the only way to get my point across. If I just speak like a normal person, the point may not get across. And getting the point across is oh so important.

Life, in general, seems to be running in extremes for me these days. I am extremely tired. I am extremely busy. I am extremely filled. I am extremely drained. I am extremely happy. I am extremely sad. I am extremely stressed. I am extremely peace-filled. Things are calm. Things are crazy. School is great. School is too hard. Friends are wonderful. Friends are hard work. I have no emotions. I have too many emotions. I can't cry. I can't stop crying. I love my life. I wish for a different life. God is using me. How can God possibly use me? He is always there, I feel Him. Where is He? Why can't I hear Him?

Rarely is there middle ground.

I kind of feel like I'm living a half life in some ways. I'm so busy and tired that I'm rarely ever able to give more than what is absolutely required of me within the limits of my job and other responsibilities. Sucked dry and barely scraping by physically and sometimes, mentally and emotionally, even spiritually. But in another part of me, in my insides, my heart is so full so much of the time from the love and care I receive from those around me. I see God consistently working in my heart and through others around me, teaching me, guiding me, convicting me. His love is tangible so often.

This is more of a commentary than anything else. I don't think there's anything to be done about it.This season of life isn't really a negative thing. It is what it is. A time of growth and pain and tiredness and joy. To the enth degree.

1 comment:

Paula said...

I think you are more like your Dad, Jen, than you are like me in how you analyze things. I pretty much try to live in the middle. Thus, I don't usually have a lot of extreme highs or lows, although there are exceptions. I hope you are finding satisfaction in all you do and that you are wise and careful in how you treat yourself. Try to have calm times several times regularly. Take time to "rest in the Lord." Even Christ stopped to sleep and rest. Love you, Mom