I'll Be Home For Ch*istmas If Only In My Dreams...

This is not my first Ch*istmas to miss being at home and I'm sure it won't be my last but I am sure it was my most memorable and most profound. New traditions were started and the depth of the reality of celebrating Ch*istmas in China has been very moving. I haven't talked about H*M much on my blog in efforts to be sensitive but today, today I will share with you my thoughts on the last few weeks.



First, let me say, we expats (expatriates- people who live in another country) know how to party it up. Between school, fellowship and friends, it's been a busy time. There have been graduations ceremonies to attend, programs to watch, services to plan, carols to sing...I think I've been to something like 9 parties (I'm all baked out). I've had the opportunity to be involved in a couple of different types Ch*istmas parties. One where we gave gifts to some very underpriviledged Chinese families (where we had the attendance of several city officials and the possibility to start up some sort of repeated outreach) and then a C. Eve party designed for English speaking Chinese and other expats (I helped lead wors*ip/MC/plan it- a good learning experience). Both with the purpose to teach those in attendance why we celebrate Ch*istmas and what it means. For C. Eve/Day, the singles from my fellowship had a sleepover/gift exchange/eat all day/movie marathon party. I was able to skype with my family and open our gifts together. It's been a busy, wonderful time.


And just like in America, it's so easy to get caught up in the doing, that you almost get too busy to remember the reason for celebrating in the first place. So easy. Except...it's not. I mean, I was just as busy this month as I was every other December back home. I had as many, maybe even more, things to attend and prepare for but in between all the programs and parties and ceremonies, it was always very clear that Ch*istmas was different here. China doesn't celebrate Ch*istmas. I mean, the stores try. They had a few signs here and there in English announcing Ch*istmas sales. And every once in awhile I came across one wishing me a Happy or Merry somthing or other, but out side of that, it's a normal month, week, day. I mean, imagine. The holiday that many people in America spend months planning for...it's not even celebrated here. It was very surreal.


So, when I went to our student's Ch*istmas program and they acted out the nativity, I cried. Not because I haven't seen it a bazillion times, but because...I don't know. Because I'm living in a place that doesn't understand the beauty of the nativity. Or the meaning. I'm living in a place where people haven't even heard the story. EVER. At one of our parties, we had several people say that they had never heard (much less understood) why we celebrated Ch*istmas until that moment.

See, to you this probably sounds normal. Yes, of course Jen. You're living in China, it's not their custom, of course they don't know. But living here, where things are so normal, so westernized, so close to being like home, it's truly mindblowing to me to hear people in such a huge city of 8 million people to say that they have no idea what Ch*istmas is about. I mean, you expect that in the boondocks or jungles or farmland, but in a city with a huge expat community (who all celebrate this holiday)? The implications of all of that I won't go into but needless to say, it hurts my heart.


I have purposely left H*M out of my blogs but I hope you've been able to read between the lines and realize that my happiness here is totally because of H*S provision. HE has taken wonderful care of me. And this week has been a perfect reminder of how far HE had to come to do that.

Per My Facebook Status...

Here are a few of my fb status updates over the last couple of weeks...

• just finished making 6 dozen sugar cookies for my students. We aren't having parties tomorrow. We're just having "snacks while we work" day. Wish I could find some food coloring. And sprinkles. And sugar sparkles.


• why is there constant tapping/banging/knocking/hammering/pounding in my apartment building? Seriously, all day, every day. Who is doing it and why?


• one more full week of school and then finals. Woohoo!!! Can't wait for vacation time.:)


• is going to go spend all her money at the Christmas fair. Of course, that'll be in between selling raffle tickets and photographing babies with Santa. :)


• had a good formal observation and finally finished pinyin. Woohoo! Hot pot with the girls to celebrate (good thing 'cause I think ayi made eel for dindin). And then a caramel machiatto. It's been a good day.


• my ayi is amazing. She actually unpacked my suitecase that I've been avoiding. I cannot express how happy that makes me.


• so, my bed is right next to the radiator and it's so dang hot that I have to sleep with my window open. How messed up is that? Seriously, who sleeps with their window open in the winter?


• is going for a wog (walk/jog). Can't wait to use my new earmuffs and face mask. I love winter!!!


• had a great Thanksgiving feast today and thoroughly enjoyed the Jin Hai clan. A perfect way to celebrate.


• is getting ready to cook it up...corn pudding, stuffing and green bean casserole. Mmmm...

Life is good. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with people from my apartment complex. I don't know if I've ever explained how "living here" works. We have two main apartment complexes that our company uses. One complex is for the married couples with no children and singles living by themselves. The other complex is for families and singles with roommates. I live in the complex with the families and singles w/roommates. So for Thanksgiving, about 30 of us, including about 10 kids, all got together for a potluckish dinner. We all signed up to bring different dishes. It was delicious and oh so fun. We played games, had a couple of readings. Very family-like.

I don't know about you but life is seriously crazy for people in education during this time of year. Parties to host, programs to watch, grading to be finished, finals to be given. CRAZY. I've already been to a program and a Christmas fair (where I purchased some great gifts). I've got classroom "parties" for the next couple of days, a program on Friday night, a party for the needy on Saturday, two parties next week, I think, another open house on the 19th, a Christmas Eve party at my fellowship and then a whole bunch of fun stuff planned for Christmas Eve/Day with friends. In between all that, I still have to grade and finish up all my stuff for school. But, I LOVE IT. I love this time of year. I love the weather, the lights, the carols, the messages at fellowship, everything about it. And this year is extra-special to me. I'll blog about that later.

I'm finally assimilating to the China way of life. What I mean is, when I first got here, there were a lot of every day things that I just couldn't do because it seemed too overwhelming, like cooking. I literally did not cook once during my first three months here. And in fact, my first big time to cook was for Thanksgiving. I know, you're judging me right now. Think about it. I'm in a new country, it's almost impossible to find the things I'm used to using (like cooking oil or normal vegetables), and I have no idea what I can find or where to find it or how to use substitutions. So, it's a big deal that I finally feel like I know where to find things like...stuffing. It's with the dried seafood. Or baking mixes- with the dried seafood. Yes, it seems everythings with the dried seafood. China's tricky like that. If a store does happen to have what you're looking for, I would almost guarantee that it's not going to be in any place you would ever think it would be. Cereal is not with other dried goods. No, it's back in the meat market,right next to the slabs of pig heart and freshly caught fish. Seriously.

Another thing that's recently happened is that I've passed my pinyin test. What's pinyin? It's the written sounds of Chinese. So, Chinese has characters. Example- 汉字 and then there's pinyin. Example-yīdiǎnr. It's basically using the English alphabet to spell out the sounds of the character. By saying I passed my pinyin test, I mean, that I'm able to read it. Which means absolutely nothing because I have no idea what I'm saying. It's actually a very small thing but still exciting because that means that I'm finally on vocabulary. And learning how to speak in sentences in stead of just one word phrases. "Go." "We're here." "This." "Want." "Don't want." I can say things like "wǒ shì lǎoshī" which is "I am a teacher". Impressed aren't you? Still very basic but I'm on my way. Makes me happy.

I've taken pictures of my tree and holiday stuff. It's all on facebook. Check it out.

Becoming Chinified

I just got back from an 8 day trip to Singapore. I'd like to report that I haven't sweat that much, well, ever. For those of you ignorant of the location of Singapore...imagine fire + steam + a few palm trees somewhere near the equator and there you are. Actually, it's very similar to where I lived in Florida. It's just in Florida, you're walking from an airconditioned home to an airconditioned car to an airconditioned work building. It's similar in Singapore except instead of walking a few feet from one place to another, you're walking several blocks. Up and down stairs. And hills. In steamy rain. In dress clothes. And heels. By the time you get to the next airconditioned place, you've already sweat through your clothes, your makeup has melted off and your hair has been not-so-eloquently knotted on top of your head.

Don't even get me started on trying to be a nice, patient, fun-loving teacher when in the middle of bursting into flames.

Enough about sweat...it was a great trip. My students did an excellent job, I was able to buy a bunch of Christmas gifts, I spent some time bonding with my students and the other chaperones, I got to try some new foods, and was able to visit somewhere I'd never been before. Overall, a very successful trip.

But I'm not gonna lie...after being gone 16 of the last 25 days, I couldn't wait to get home. Being gone so much has truly helped me to appreciate what my home, my city, China means to me. Seriously.

I love my bed. I love my routine in the mornings. I love how clean my city is. I love how convenient it is to shop here. I love how easy it is to use public transportation. I love that I can cross the streets anywhere and any way I want to. I love the customer service here. I love how nice the people are. I love that how even though the driving here is CRAZY, it's still got a system and everyone knows how it works even though it's not written down anywhere. I love that there are no rules about cutting people in line. I love that people are so quick to help. I love that we have winter here. I love that my friends miss me when I'm gone. I love that I have wi-fi in my apartment. I love that my bus driver drives like a maniac to get me home quickly. I love that the airlines let me check two bags that are overweight even though the limit is supposed to be only one. I love how inexpensive things are. I love that I know where to find things and how to get places. I love that it's beginning to truly feel like home.

Truth be told, the majority of things that I love about China are those things which feed my impatience and need for rule-bending. Don't want to wait for the crosswalk light? Okay, just play a little game we like to call run-in-a-zig-zag-motion-but-whatever-you-do-don't-stop-until-both-feet-are-on-the-opposite-side's-sidewalk because there's really no rule that says you have to follow lights. They're just suggestions. Too good to follow the baggage rules when traveling? No biggie. Most airlines in China don't follow them anyway, do what you want. Can't stand to wait your turn in line? Eh, just cut in front and get it taken care of. No one will mind because they were getting ready to do it too. This is just how China works. I'm not taking advantage of anything. It's just life here. It's not offensive or wrong, it's life. And I love it. Going to these other countries that are much more westernized remind me of what the rules used to be. And it's hard to re-adjust. Waiting 30 seconds for the light to change so I can cross a street nearly killed me. And waiting in line for the subway, oh man. Seriously?

Note to self: Do not become a self-absorbed, can't-wait-for-anything Chinified diva. Always remmeber how the rest of the world lives.

Anyway, it's exciting that I feel comfortable with referring to China as "home". It's such an amazing place with really unique characteristics that seem to fit me pretty well. Yah, me and China. Two peas in a pod.

Addendum:

Quick funny story. I was in the airport this morning, flying back from Singapore to Qingdao, decided I needed some breakfast and ended up in KFC. Because I'm traveling on the school's expense, I have to get receipts for all my spending. So, I order my food. And then ask for a receipt. The only problem is, my brain wasn't working and I used the wrong words.

Me: "Piao liang." (I don't know how to use sentences yet)

Her: *blink* *blink*

Me: "Piao liang, piao liang" and making the shape of a receipt with my hands

Her: slight smile and nervous glance around

Me: "Piao liang" said a little louder still motioning with my hands

Her: total and complete confusion

At this point I'm thinking, "Seriously? People ask for receipts all the time. What is her problem??"

Then it dawns on me. The word for receipt is "fa piao". "Piao liang" means 'beautiful.' So here I am, practically yelling at her to make sure she can hear me say "BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL" over and over again while making a square with my fingers. I have no doubt she was thinking "dumb American". Anyway, I got the receipt and some embarrassment for breakfast today. Awesome.

Homesickish

I wrote this on Friday but am just now getting a chance to post it...


I'm sitting in TGI Fridays ready to burst into tears. Being here, in a place so like America has made me really homesick. It's easy to forget life before China because I get so caught up in China and my life there. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy living in China, but sitting in a booth, eating American food and drinking Diet Pepsi, watching a mom and daughter and grandmother in the booth in front of me...woo, my heart hurts a little bit.


It's just funny to me that homesickness would hit me when I'm not even in China. I suppose it's because Korea is a little too close to home, it's very westernized. Where I'm staying at in Seoul could be downtown Denver. Reminds me of all the things I left behind. Things I don't think about much now. Things like disappearing into a crowd, or being able to read the signs everywhere I go. Things like real American food and not some other country's version, or the ability to talk about what I believe without feeling nervous or cautious, even something as ridiculous as being able to go on Facebook or Blogger freely without using a proxy.

These little things add up until you're living a life you barely recognize and yet it's life all the same. A new kind of life, one that stretches you and challenges you. A life that makes you really thankful for the small but important things like pictures on a menu so you can order no matter the language or having an organized fellowship to attend and sing worship at or a great pair of walking shoes to keep the blisters at bay. These are the tidbits that make up my life now.

And I love it. I really do. I'm so glad He brought me here. I wouldn't want it any other way. I suppose I just should never visit Korea again! I need somewhere that's a little more backwards...Canada, maybe? :)

P.S. Just so you know, now that I'm back in China, I feel totally fine. I'm telling you, it's the kurse of korea...just kidding.

SEOMUN

I'm sitting on the floor in the middle of a classroom in the middle of a school in the middle of Korea. Seoul, Korea to be exact. I'm at my first MUN (Model United Nations) conference. Do you know how hard it's been to teach a class that's completely experiential when you have no experience? Do you know how hard it is to teach a class to students who know much more about the subject matter than you do? It's difficult, my friends. Very difficult. So, it's nice to see all my planning and preparation come together at last, to finally 'get a clue'. Maybe I'll actually know what I'm talking about in class now.

The best part about this trip is watching the students. When you teach kids, you only know them in the frame of reference you teach them in. So, if I have a student in my History class, I only know them based on their performance in my class. If I have them in MUN class, I only know them based on their participation in class. That's what I love about coaching and having students over to my house and going on trips with them; it gives me another frame of reference. I find out that the quiet student is actually pretty outgoing but not in History class because they're not with their friends or they're not confident about the subject matter. Or maybe a student who's struggling in my class is a genius in Math or Science or maybe they're an excellent soccer player or actor. That's what this conference is about...peeling back another layer to my students' personalities. I'm watching them speak out, give opinions, take leadership, engage in super intelligent discussions, work with others at a level that is very unusual even with your best students. And it's all for the sake of creating a better world. That's what MUN is about- making our world a better place. My students spend hours every week thinking about other people, working on ways to solve their problems and collaborating with others to make it happen. It's incredible, really.

Some other not-as-awesome things to mention...

• I got to eat at Buger King last night
• I had a REAL Diet Coke today, totally different than Chinese Diet Coke
• The air is so fresh and unpolluted here
• The toilet in my hotel room has a beday, I have no idea how to spell it, but you know, that thing that squirts up water in the toilet
• Most people speak English which is semi-refreshing and a little disconcerting all at the same time. Why disconcerting, you ask? The thing is, when one gets used to not being understood, one might say things inappropriate for public conversation, things that should be said under one's breath or in a whisper to one's friend. It's a bad habit one might get into and have a hard time readjusting when around many people who understand one's language.
• I'm hoping to meet up wht a friend from college this week. She works here in Seoul.
• We are having our conference at this ginormous building. It's a conferernce building that has it's own underground mall. And when I say "mall", I really mean underground-magicplace-so-big-and-fantastic-that-it's-just-an-expectation-that-you'll-get-lost-but-who-really-cares-because-you're-surrounded-by-so-many-awesome-food-joints-that-you-could-eat-there-forever-and-still-not-get-to-every-knook-and-cranny mall. What an ingenius idea to combine a meeting place with food and shopping. I mean, who goes to meetings? Now there's a place that gives conference-goers something to do during the conference.

I'm off to my next meeting, and yes, I'm actually going to the meetings. It's all about the kids this week.

**Addendum**

I was sitting on the floor writing this post. Apparently, I chose the only spot that was covered in some sort of tile glue. White glue. Glue that decided to stick to my pants. My black pants. Awesome.

30 and Counting

Today is my 30th birthday. Thirty. Three-zero. Good thing I look like a twelve year old. Literally. Last summer I had a salesman come to my door and ask if my parents were home. After, telling him several times that it was my house, he said, "Oh, you just look so young. Like, 12 years old young." I wanted to scratch his eyes out. Instead, I politely slammed the door in his face.

Anyway, I've been looking back over the past three decades and I thought I would list thirty things/facts about myself that you may or may not know about me. If you don't care to bored out of your mind, stop reading now. If you want to get to know me better in a slightly disturbing way, keep reading!

1. I don't like the different foods on my plate to touch if they're of differing flavors. In other words, I don't mind most salty things to touch like corn and mashed potatoes but I don't want salty and sweet things to touch like olives and sweet potato pie...can you tell I'm already dreaming of Thanksgiving dinner?
2. I've know my Father for over 25 years. I was just thinking about that today. That's a really long time. Am I really where I should be in a 25 year relationship?
3. Two things I look at on a man are his hands and his forehead. I know, strange. But if a guy has nice hands and/or a good forehead, rrrrrrrrrr!
4. I'm debating cutting my hair.
5. Out of most of the places I've lived, I've lived there twice. Colorado, twice. Indiana, twice. Florida, twice.
6. I love the color red. And teal.
7. I'm like a tornado in my sleep. Many times I wake up in the middle of the night completely bound by my clothes that are twisted all the way around because I roll around so much. Sometimes, I actually have to get up out of bed to readjust before I can go back to sleep. OCD?
8. I am surrounded by about 4 tubes of carmex (lipbalm) as I type this. Can you say "addiction"?
9. I never thought I'd say this but...I miss south Florida. As in the actual place. Of course I miss the people, but I'm talking the actual area. That, my friends, is proof that He really does work miracles.
10. On the other hand, I haven't been homesick much. I love China. I miss the freedom of having a car but besides that, it's all good.
11. 21 is my favorite numer. My second favorite is 12.
12. I've watched the entire 10 seasons of "Friends" since I've been here. It's kept me sane and helped me procrastinate all at the same time. Yes, I've also managed to keep a pretty busy social life.
13. We did karaoke for my birthday this weekend, it's fantastic. Nothing like karaoke in the states. We had a private room, chose all our own songs, had a couple of mics. People danced, there were group songs. It was amazing.
14. I love Diet Coke.
15. Red (any variation) is the only color I will paint my toenails.
16. I love eating with chopsticks. In fact, even when I go back to the States to visit, I think I'll have to eat everything with chopsticks. It just makes eating so much more fun.
17. I miss being in college sometimes. And the friends I had there.
18. I have about 50 words in my Chinese repertoire.
19. I hate the smell of vanilla candles.
20. I have clock in my room but the ticking is so loud that I took the batteries out. It's still up on my wall but just for decoration. I know, it makes no sense.
21. One time when I was on a traveling group for my college, while in the van on a very long drive to our next stop, one of the other team members and I spent hours coming up with names of border towns. You know, like Texoma or Mexicali...Colsas (Colorado-Kansas)...literally hours.
22. I did some serious exploring today and found this magical place that reminded me a lot of home. Except for all the staring, at me of course.
23. I can't wait for fall to come, if it ever comes. I need red and orange leaves in my life.
24. I had a dream about a friend from high school last night. Where in the world did that come from?
25. I rarely ever iron. I'm all about the spray bottle pat down.
26. Can you tell I'm getting desperate? It's past my bedtime and this is taking so long.
27. I helped lead worship at fellowship on Sunday. I'm so excited to get involved. It's been too long.
28. Have I ever mentioned that you have to have your passport to go to fellowship?
29. I have no idea how I was able to function so long without a laptop. Seriously, how was I able to live before l.w.l. (life with laptop)?
30. I am living one of my dreams by the age of 30, living and working in China. Not many people can say that. He has been so faithful to me.

Picturesque China

Some things about my life in China- photo style

For the most part, China has done a great job at fixing all of it's "off" signage but every once in a while you get a treat like this one...

or this one...

Some of my closest friends here. We were celebrating Justin's birthday. Not a lot of single guys so on many occasions, he's the only guy.

Yes, I've climbed all those stairs and many, many more. On my way to see some temples and such.

I run into random characters like this super smiley kiwi all the time...

Apparently, I'm crazy allergic to mosquitoes. Anaphalactic shock, here I come.

This is a certificate for restaraunts to show their level of goodness...not a great place to eat. Of course, all I had to do was look at the light switch on the wall with all it's hand grime to know what kind of place it was...



A view from Laoshan, my hiking trip. Looks like a European town, doesn't it? I love all the beautiful scenery here.