Checking In and Some Thoughtful Thoughts

Update:

• Since the last time I wrote, I've hosted an MUN (Model United Nations) conference here in Qingdao. We had 9 schools, 2 from other cities in China and 2 from Korea with a total of 170 students and teachers involved. It was a 3 day event and included an opening ceremony, hundreds of snacks and lunches, hotel rooms, formal debating, sightseeing, several trips to the airport, hundreds of phones calls, thousands of papers being printed, a lack of sleep and some serious stress. After spending about 6 months planning it, things went fairly well. There is a long list of improvements to be made for next year but it was a huge check off my list of things to do. Yay!
• I've been leading worship at my fellowship and am really enjoying it. I had a friend recently ask me why I didn't end up doing something in music and I said, "I never really thought about it." She looked at me like I was an idiot but it's true. I never thought about doing anything in music. It was always something I was passionate about but, I don't know, I just never had the guts (maybe?) to do anything with it. Anyway, this leading thing is a great growing experiences. I have an amazing band that is good to forgive me when I screw up and everyone's super flexible...I don't know, it's just fun. A lot of fun. It makes me want to do it more often. Who knows what the future holds?
• I'm going to Europe this summer. It's like a third of the price to go there than to go home. And since I make about 1/4 of what I made last year, it's all about saving as much money as possible. So, I'm flying to Vienna, Austria and from there, I'll train to (as of right now) Prague-Czech Republic, Krackow-Poland, Budapest-Hungary, and Bratislava-Slovakia. I'm backpacking for two weeks and the plan is to stay in super cheap (but safe, mom) hostels. I'm really excited about it. It'll be nice to get away and have some time really reflect on/evaluate this last year.
• We have 24 days until school is over. That makes me happy. This has been a crazy year.
• I get my own apartment next year. I cannot express the joy that fills my heart when I think about it.
• I'm missing the conveniences of America. There's this one side of me that loves the fact that I don't have a car- no maintainance (big deal for me), no payments, no insurace, that I don't pay my own bills (the school does it for me), that I can't understand what's being said around me...and then there's this other side of me that HATES that I don't have the freedom to go when and where I want to, that I don't really know how much of my check goes to bills, that I can barely communicate with the millions of people around me. It drives me crazy that I can't just call and order a pizza. Or that I can't just "run" to the grocery store (or Walgreens). Everything's this big process. It's frustrating sometimes. Most days, I don't even think about it, it's just my life. But yesterday, yesterday, not so much. I miss being able to go for a ride or being on my own or ordering in. I know, that's all trivial stuff. It's just, every once in awhile, the inconvenience hits me right in the face.
• My language acquisition has completely halted. It's dead. I have stopped learning new words. Not purposely. Just between the crazy travel and the insane business of my life, I haven't had time. I'm so excited about our intense language training this summer. Seriously, two hours a day, five days a week for four weeks, it's going to be crazy but so totally worth it.

This is going to be a hard summer not coming home. I actually chose this fabulous trip to keep my mind off of not being there. So much change is happening. We all move on with our lives which is of course, expected. But soon, we've moved so far from what it once was, it's no longer familiar to those who've been absent. I have friends getting engaged, getting married, having babies...nothing new I suppose, except because I'm not there to witness it, it's almost like it never happened. Until I see them in a couple of years and then there's nothing left in common except a few fun memories.

When I moved to China, that's one of the things that hit me the hardest, mourning for the things that will be lost by being so far away. I'm missing out on all those new memories. Yes, I'm making new ones of my own, but they're with a whole different group of people. My old life...it already seems so far away. And I hate it. I hate that a couple of my closest friends are getting married and I won't be there to see it. By the time I do see them, it will have been a year. Old hat. They'll be moving on to babies and families and I'll still be grappeling with this new reality.

Why don't I come home, you ask? Besides the money, it's just easier this way. Too many people to see, too many places to go and not enough time. It would be a whirlwind of unsatisfying activity. It wouldn't be restful or easy. A day or two here, a day or two there...I think it would hurt more than it would help. So, instead, I'm going on an amazing vacation and pretending like it's not all happening. I'll just deal with it when I come home next summer. Super healthy, I know.

Oh, and please don't misunderstand me. I'm happy for my friends and family that are starting these new adventures. I'm just being completely selfish and don't care for the idea that life goes on without me. How dare it! :)

On another note, I've been looking at cities in western China. Turpan, Urumqi, Kashgar...who knows what'll happen after my contract is up here? I have no idea if I'll resign or not. I work for an amazing company and it's a great school but whatever God wants, I'm in. Just keeping my options open and myself informed. I'm hoping to go out there next fall or winter to visit, maybe meet some friends of friends. It's never too early to start networking.

A totally different note, spring has finally sprung. It's time. We haven't had temps above 40 degrees since early November. Finally, on Friday it was in the 60's. Now, if you know me, you know how much I love winter. I'm all about snow and cold but this has been going on way too long. Even in Colorado, we have beautiful weather for a day or two of and on in the winter. Not here. No such thing as a break. So, as much as I love winter, I'm more than happy to say "Farwell, old friend". I need to get my tan on!

One last note, and I realize there are only two of you who've made it this far...I have tomorrow off of school. My only plans are to go grocery shopping, maybe do some grading and go to a friends for dinner. :) Happy day.

And seriously, one final note...I realize I've used the word "happy" about 20 times. Deal with it.

Egyptian Adventure

I just got back from a school trip to Cairo. I (and another chaperone) took 7 students to an MUN conference in Egypt. I've never been to the Middle East (I realize it's in Africa but trust me, it's much more M. E. than African) before so I wasn't sure what to expect. And honestly, I was so busy before I left that I didn't really have time to formulate any expectations. But anything I thought I might think I knew about Egypt was completely and totally not even close to what it really was. I don't even think that sentence made sense but hopefully it shows how utterly lost I was when we arrived. I'll come back to this.


We left Qingdao, flew to Seoul, stayed overnight in an airport hotel, then headed to Cairo via Uzbekistan (Tashkent Airport, apparently a major stopping point but not something you can tell from looking at the airport itself which was the size of my apartment. Literally.) We landed in Cairo about 24 hours after we left Qingdao. It was actually a really nice trip. There was a lot of extra room on the planes so we were all able to spread out. We arrived in Cairo late at night and were met by the hosting school at the airport. We had the pleasure of staying at an Intercontinental for the conference...if you've never done so, you are missing out! It's a beautiful 5 star hotel and take care of us they did. It's actually spoiled every hotel for me from here on out. I'll never be able to afford to stay there again on my own but I'll always wish I could. The conference went...okay. There were a few bumps and babbles, some our fault, some out of our control. Some of our students shined, some not so much but I think it was a good learning experience all around. The conference organizers also planned a few outings for us including a trip to the pyramids, a visit to the Egyptian musem, shopping at a famous bazaar, a couple of parties in the evenings and a visit to an United Nations organization in Cairo. Again, some were awesome (the pyramids and the museum), some were not partaken of (shopping- our kids were too tired, the jet lag about killed us), and some were flops (a dance party and the UN trip...it was super boring).

We did some serious waiting all week. Anytime we went anywhere as a group with the conference (about 500 people) we had to wait enormous amounts of time. Egypt has a Ministry of Tourism and a Tourism police. Because we were such a large group of foreigners, we had to have special permission to go anywhere and then we all had to leave together. Along with that, we had to have a policemen on several of the buses with us. It was basically all about their time schedule so it didn't matter if we were all ready. We had to wait on their approval. And then, we'd finally get on the road after waiting for 2 hours only to sit in traffic for another hour or so. Next time, I know to go with the expectation that we will be doing a lot of waiting and I don't think it'll bother me as much.

We stayed an additional two days after the conference so we could do some more sight-seeing. We went to the famous bazaar, the Khan el Khalili, sailed on a faluca down the Nile (the coolest thing we did on the trip), did a lot of shopping at a big mall (we don't really have malls here in China), saw a movie (Alice and Wonderland), toured a couple of mosques, went back to the pyramids for a night show and...did school work. Yes, that's right. Our students took about 5 hours and did homework. HOMEWORK!! Overachievers. Actually, a lot of it was for my AP World History class. I'm a slave driver. Anyway, we spent half a day at a learning center so they could have some quiet work time. Boring.

We left the next morning and headed back home the same way we came. It was an amazing trip. One I hope to make again in the future. With or without students.

Some thoughts on Cairo and the Egyptian people. It'll kind of be in list form so forgive the randomness.

The people there were totally unexpected. I don't really know if I have a stereo-type of Middle Eastern people. I've never really known any so I didn't know what to expect. The best way I can explain them is if you were to take the open gawking of the Chinese, the intensity and passion of an Italian and the abrasiveness of what t.v. shows a New Yorker as being, you would have an Egyptian. They are loud, proud, fun, sweet-talking, confrontational, and totally intimidating (at least the men are, I didn't have much interaction with the women. I'll get to that later).

The overwhelmingness (yes, it's a word) started the moment we stepped through the security gate at the airport. There were men everywhere. Many, many men. A few women, some covered, most covered but so many men. And they all stared at us. Now, living in China, I'm used to being stared at but this, this was a totally different kind of look. The Chinese stare at me out of curiousity, I suppose. But these Egyptian men...I don't even know if I can put it into words. They weren't happy looks or mad looks, just intense. Really, really intense. Like "eat you up" intense. It was one of the most intimidating moments I've ever experienced. Needless to say, this intensity followed us everywhere.

Egypt (at least Cairo, I suppose I can't speak for the whole country) has a "man-driven" society. Not surprising I suppose, given some of the Muslim expectations for women but I don't know that I've ever experienced anything like what I experienced there. Every store we went into, even women department stores, was run by mostly men. There were a few women working here and there but not many. In fact, there were so few, it was always noticeable when there was a women. This applied to fast food, restaurants, the mall, any tourist spot...again, totally overwhelming. I'm assuming that once a woman is married, they no longer work out of the home. I'm not sure if that is a personal choice or if it's social or religious. Most of the women were covered up but all to different degrees. Some wore just a head covering, some wore burkas, some had even their eyes covered. Even those that didn't cover themselves still dressed VERY modestly. Pants, long-sleeve shirts and high collars. They were still stylish, just very covered.

I'm not sure what to think of the women covering up. Christine (the other chaperone) and I discussed it quite a bit. At first, the women in burkas were a little intimidating but the more time we spent there, the easier it was to accept. I wonder if it is their choice or if they are being forced by a husband or father? I wonder if they mind or if because it's all they've ever known, it doesn't matter. Or maybe because it's so accepted in society, they don't care. I've always had this impression that women in Muslim countries were mistreated and oppressed. And I have no doubt that that is the case in many places. But seeing how the Egyptian men treated their women, even those in burkas...it made it all...not as big of a deal. It seems, from an outsiders point of view, that they were loved and cared for. Even those completely covered would walk next to their husbands holding hands, talking, shopping together. I don't know. It just changed my impression of what I perceived to be the Muslim mind-set.

I was proposed to twice. The first time, I was offered 5,000,000 camels, a lotus flower farm and a visit to mother's. The second time, I was offered 10,000,000 camels (he was trying to one-up the other guy) and a seat on his lap. Both I turned down.

Cairo is a very dirty city. With the pollution (one of the most polluted cities in the world) and the sand, everything is covered in dirt. The buildings were filthy. There was trash everywhere. So many cars and not enough streets. We would ride with the windows down and when we got out of the car, you could feel the dirt in your hair. One of the things that stuck out to me the most was how nicely dressed the people were. Bright, clean clothes, freshly pressed. This applied to everyone from the glass maker to the bank teller. And the women with their colorful scarves and long robes, it was a beautiful contrast really.

It was a tip-based society. Everyone was working for a bigger tip. I've never really been to a place with that kind of attitude. Everything had to be bargained for. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't come from a place like China where I barter all the time. It was very overwhelming. We had to haggle everything from the taxis to help with directions. Pretty frustrating actually because just when you think someone is helping you out of the goodness of their heart, no, they're just waiting for payment. And if they feel you didn't pay them enough, they won't leave you alone until you do or until you have the courage to yell back and walk off (we actually had to do that with a taxi driver and made quite the scene).

For our last three nights in the city, we stayed at a different hotel. It was an Egyptian version of a Chinese hotel (my China friends should understand that). Everything is pretty worn and dingy but filled with character. You ignore the stains on the carpet and the mold in the bathroom because that is real life. You smile and look past the obtrusive questions of the bellhop because they are just doing their job. We had to report to the front desk where we were going to be and how long we were going to be there per the tourism police. I haven't quite decided if it was a good or bad thing that they knew. I suppose good if anything happened to us but bad if they were the ones to do it. I'm pretty sure we were followed or at least kept track of the entire time we were there. Again, not sure if it was a good or bad thing. Anyway, the people were friendly in a very flirty almost uncomfortable sort of way.

That's the thing with the men there. They were always friendly, on the verge of being too friendly-flirty so you never quite knew if you were safe or not. They were always crossing or coming close to crossing that imaginary boundary that we women like to put up to keep track of our surroundings. I never felt UNsafe neccessarily, I just never felt protected.

We had a couple of really frustrating things happen on the trip. One being that there isn't a bank or money converting place that will except Chinese RMB. China!, the second leading world power and their money is worth nothing in Cairo! Arg. Kind of puts a damper on things when all you have is RMB and a very limited school credit card. Needless to say, my American bank account is running VERY low right now. Thank goodness I had enough to get us through.

The second really irritating thing was the don't-even-try-to-make-plans-because-it-will-NEVER-work-out-so-there's-really-no-point-in-even-talking-about-it mindset. Every day, we would make a plan or at least talk about what we wanted to do and not one day did it happen like we wanted it to. Now, I can be a pretty flexible person and I've had to learn to be even more so living here in China. I can go with the flow and even enjoy the ride. I like the adventure of it. But sometimes, enough is enough. We would have to make a plan, remake a plan, remake it again, and still change it at least one more time. Sometimes, this would happen hourly. It wouldn't have been a big deal if I was there on my own but because I had a group I was responsible for, it got to be quite frustrating. The students were great though. They were very adaptable, which really made it easier for me to deal with.

I have no idea what kind of impression I'm giving you of the people or the culture there. Let me say, it was an adventure. A totally break-you-out-of-your-box kind of adventure. I encourage you to go if you want to experience something you've never experienced before. Just be prepared for...

• using lots of cash and not getting any receipts (not good for a school trip)


• lovely people who like to tease and laugh (I had a blast with the bartering. It helps if you can flirt. Just sayin')


• loud music, car honking, yelling, and a lot of horse-play (even by grown men)


• interesting smells (mostly good), delicious food, and bottled water


• crazy driving (China doesn't even compare)


• everyone trying to take advantage of you (if you go in with that mindset, it's a lot easier to avoid and accept)
  
• beautiful crafts and artwork (some made right here in China so beware of the fake stuff)


• a "chance" meeting with an "improptu" guide (they might be a lifesaver and make the day totally worth the large tip at the end)

I leave you with some pictures.

Mountain range in Uzbekistan

Tashkent, Uzbekistan

Hotel room at the Intercontinental

Camel rides

Egyptian Museum

Giza Pyramids

The Sphinx

The city

Hotel room at the Cosmopolitian

My first marriage proposal

Spice market

Ibn Barquq Mosque- Beautiful!

The smaller building is the footwashing area


















On top of the mosque. The Citadel
is in the background.

The city























My second marriage proposal.













Khan el Khalili Bazaar























Sailboat (faluca) on the Nile














A strange mix of old and new










I'm such a dork

Where Uzbekistan gets their spirit from...

If you'd like to see more pictures, I've posted
them on facebook.

Vidalicious

My name is Jen Brown and I attended the 1st internationa Vida in Qingdao, where the mountains meet the sea. I was super-duper privledged to sing on the worship team because "He is the music in me".

Okay, if you've been to Vida, you understand the above statement. Well, except for the end. I didn't get to sit at a table, so I made up my own thing.

For those of you who don't know, Vida is a retreat created for students to have an intense weekend-long connecting with Christ. We study His death, burial, resurrection, and several other key ingredients in our relatioship with Him. Communion is taken, repentance is sought, praise and worship is sung (sometimes yelled and sometimes whispered), servanthood is mirrored...it's an amazing experience.

To see high schoolers with so much potential, oozing with leadership and a desire to serve Christ, man, it is a powerful thing.

On our first night, after learning about Christ's death, the students are taken into a room where there is a wooden cross in the middle of the room surrounded by hammers and nails. After prayer and scripture reading, they have the opportunity to write down sins that they've asked forgiveness for, take that paper and nail it to the cross. When they are finished, they walk to the front of the room and have their hands washed by someone. Probably one of the most touching moments all weekend was having my hands washed by a young woman who was weeping as she washed. She "got it". She understood the symbol of what she was doing. It was so moving to me, to see a young woman truly understand what Christ has done for us. I don't think it happens very often. I don't think we often "get it".

There are many more things that happened but I don't want to spoil the surprise...

Needless to say, it was a wonderfully exhausting weekend. De Colores!!!

Jet-Setterish

I'm a traveling maniac these days. I've been to Beijing twice and a ladies retreat in the last week. I leave for another retreat on Friday. I will be home for two days and then leave for Egypt on Wednesday. I have two partially full suitecases sitting on my floor waiting to be unpacked or repacked depending on how un-lazy I am (they're going to be there forever). It's irritating because I'm constantly tripping over them. You would think that would motivate me to put them away, but no, I just work on being more careful.

This is a crazy time for me right now. Besides all the traveling, I'm involved in a Women's group, leading worship at my fellowship, sponsoring an after school club, leading up and planning for our school's biggest event- our MUN conference, and teaching an AP World History course and three MUN classes. My plate is FULL.

I've been told by many people that I need to let some of my responsibilities go so that life isn't such a whirlwind. I look at that list and I see nothing that I can get rid of. I have to do my job (traveling, AP course, conference planning, club) and well, the ministry stuff is too important to me. Yes, I get that I don't have to do the church stuff. I could let leading worship or the study go. They would go on very successfully without me. It's just...I refuse to allow my job to become my life. I refuse to let it take everything from me. Don't get me wrong, I like my job (most of the time), but I want to have other things to do, things I enjoy doing. I want to have ministry outside of school. It's kind of rebellious, I suppose. I would rather have too much to do than allow my life to only consist of my job. The outside stuff is what keeps me sane, not just because of what it is, but because it allows me a break from my work. A much needed break.

Some of you are thinking, "Well, your job is your ministry." Yes, true. Teaching is a ministry but it's also a lot of work. A lot of stress. A lot more than I bargained for. But my passion is church ministry, it always has been. So, I'm keeping it. I'm doing the extra stuff. I'm going to run myself ragged. The end is in sight. I can last another 7 weeks. It is hard but it's not TOO hard...or maybe it is. But it'll get done. And hopefully, it'll get done well. HE's been faithful so far. HE's provided helpers and circumstances and encouragement all along the way. I have no doubt that HE'll see me through.

I realize this post makes no sense but these are my thoughts these days and I need to flesh (right context?) them out.

Some side notes...

I went to BEIJING for several days last week with my students for an MUN conference. We were supposed to get home Sunday night but due to SNOW!, our flight was canceled and we came back yesterday. I would just like to mention that I was able to get tickets for 18 people, check our baggage, get correct information, refund 18 tickets, get our baggage back, purchase new tickets, get transportation and lodging on a moment's notice, get back to the airport, get on the plane and home all within a foreign country. Yes, I had chaperones that helped but it was a freeing moment. One of those, "Wow, I really can do this. I can live here and survive even in an incredibly frustrating circumstance. And I can make it work."

Also on the trip to Beijing, I had two ladies helping me chaperone, both I didn't know extrememly well. We had an amazing time together. I have never laughed so much in such a short time in my life. You know me, I love to laugh. But this was not normal. We were hysterical, tears streaming, mouths agape, faces red, falling down lauging for most of the trip. Over nothing most of the time. It was a very exhausting and stressful weekend so I suppose it was either laugh or cry. And laugh we did. It was oh, so much fun.

We leave for Egypt next week. I. Can't. Wait. We're only taking 7 students and we have grand plans. We'll be going to an MUN conference, visiting the Giza pyramids, shopping at Bazzaars, walking through mosques, floating down the Nile in falucas (boats)...I have an amazing job.

I'm considering cutting my hair. Any suggestions?

Did you know it's like 90 degrees in Cairo right now?

I have three tubes of carmex by my bed right now. How sad is that?

Enough. Goodnight my friends!

P.S. I think someone from Apopka, FL is blogger-stalking me?

The End. Finally!

The Xi'an Experience and yes, it is an experience

I am presently in Xi'an, China on vacation with some friends. I know, you have no idea where Xi'an is. Qingdao is North Carolina then Xi'an would be souther Arkansas (in location only). It has been awesome and a little disturbing all at once. Here's list of things I've done/that have happened to me.

• Rode a train for 21 hours on the top (of three) bunks with my friend Kayla.
  The bed was so close to the ceiling that I wasn't able to sit
  up.
• Made friends with my four other bunk-mates and gave them gifts for Chun Jie.
• Met Justin in Xi'an (he was here for week before we got here.) He planned
  the whole trip.
• Stayed in an amazing hostel and ate delicious food, met fun Chinese and
  western people (mostly Europeans or Aussies), had a comfortable private
  room...just a really great place.
• Got to see/hear traditional Chinese dancing and music. Beautiful.
• Saw the Terracotta Warriors. It really was amazing. Even got to meet (okay,
  just snuck a picture) of the farmer that discovered the Warriors.
• Visited one of the largest mosques in China. It was huge and could've been
  magical, I think. The problem was, there were some little Chinese kids there who
  decided to follow us around and scream the "f" word at least 100 times. I
  literally felt DIRTY when we left. It hurt my feelings a little too.
• Went to The Big Goose Pagoda to watch the light show and ended up missing it
  because we discovered a Dairy Queen. But the Pagoda was still amazing.
• Was so disgusted from seeing throwup and poop on the ground, from smelling
  awefulness and from the general dirtiness of the city that I had to stop in
  Starbucks and make myself throwup just to feel a little better. This is 'real' China as compared to my very westernized city of Qingdao.
  

Today is our last day and I think the only thing we have planned is to go to the Muslim area and have Yang Rou Pao Mo (lamb soup) in all it's delciousness. Even with all the weird/dirty things(that really only add character to the trip), this has been one of the best vacations ever. Great friends, lots of laughs, too many new experiences to count, incredible ancient history, once in a life time sightseeing (the good, the bad and the ugly), it couldn't be any better.

The pictures are in no particular order as I am too lazy to figure out how to rearrange them...







Justin, Kayla and Me at the Terracotta Warriors.

The Muslim Soup...lamb, broth and chunks of pita bread. Delish!

Top bunk on the train.

Awesomeness.

The Big Goose Pagoda

The Muslim Mosque

The Chinese Show

An ironic picture. Old meets new.

My new friend Tom. This is my favorite picture of the trip. I sang karaoke and this was his reaction. It's not even about my singing. It's about the mere shock on his face. I just love it.

Year of the Tiger

China is full of traditions and holidays. I mostly love them because that means time off of school for me. Besides that though, it's always interesting to learn about another culture so indepthly (is that really a word?). Chinese New Year (Chun Jie) is coming up on February 14th. It's China's biggest holiday, like our Christmas. They set of bazillions of fireworks, eat jiaozi (dumplings) and give gifts. It's a really big deal. Each year is assigned an animal- you can read here if you'd like to know more about it. This is the year of the Tiger. If you were born in 2010, 1998, 1986, 1974, 1962, 1950, 1938, 1926, 1914...you are a Tiger. Go here if you'd like learn more about your tiger-self.

Anyway, because half of our staff is Chinese, we had a big Chun Jie Party last week to celebrate with them. We gave each other gifts, ate A LOT of jiaozi and meat on a stick, and had a talent show. And of course, I had to participate in all of it. I made jiaozi, cut paper pictures, ate lots of food and sang in the talent show.

The following is a video from the show. A friend and I took a famous American song, "Hero" by Mariah Carey, changed the lyrics, and added a powerpoint. The sound's a little rough but you can read most of the lyrics. Enjoy!